A lame poem

The words won't come,

They are stuck inside.

My mouth is dumb,

And my brain is fried. 

What to say, how to express

My feelings cannot be said in any phrase,

My heart's a mess. 

My head is in a haze.

Happy, sad, or mad,

I feel them all, but also none. 

I feel content, with nothing to add. 

And with that am I done?

What do I feel in my heart?

It's not hurt, and is still there

It has not been hit with cupid's dart. 

And yet I must beware.

Life can come at me quick.

I must be ready to take it in,

Through good and bad, thin and thick

I can write, and in determination lift my chin. 

A Blast From The Past (Part 5)

What to do? I wondered. I had asked myself this before, but now that Travis was asking it, I thought harder. 

"Well what do you know?" I asked Travis.

"There was a man named Charles, me before apparently,who wrote Early In The Morning before he died."

"I was, before, a woman named Emily who died of pnemonia."

"Charles loved Emily, but was engaged to Mary." 

"What if that's what we have to do?" I murmered. 

"What? Get married?"

"Well not that far." I smiled. Travis didn't.

"No," Travis said. "No," and he walked away. 

The visions/memories only got more fequent as the days went by. They told the story of my supposed life. I wanted nothing more than for them to go away. Travis avoided me, even more than before, he even moved his seat in History. A week after their confortation, Travis started dating another girl names Jamie. I admit, I was hurt. I really liked Travis and here he was dating another  girl. My heart ached more than it should for a high school crush.  I then realized it was the feelings from Emily and Charles, reflecting now. I, unlike her was not going to die over a stupid guy.

Days went by, the memories coming more often, and with greater clarity. I wonder if the same thing was happening to Travis. I saw Travis with Jamie every day, and every time I felt a little pang in my heart. I was walking in the rain at school, one day, and saw Travis heading towards me, Jamie walking next to him. As I tried to pass them, somehow i fell, and rolled down the hill that sloped off the sidewalk. I rolled for a minute before I felt my head hit something, and everything went black. 

I woke up in a hospital bed, Gwen, my parents, and Travis standing over me. 

"Where am I?" I asked. 

"The hospital, you hit your head on a rock," my mother replied. 

"Oh," so that's why my head throbbed. 

"Gave us quite a scare,"Gwen said. I looked at Travis, who had an unreadable expression on his face. The doctor came in to take some tests, and I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up again, only Travis was there. 

"Hey," I said faintly.

"Hey." 

"I can't believe I fell."

"Me either," he sighed. "I looked over and you had disappeared. I saw you rolling down the hill, and when I got to you, you were bleeding." He shivered slightly. 

"Oh," was all I could say. 

"So I brought you to the nurse-"

"Wait," I interupted. "You carried me all the way to the nurse?"

"Yes," Travis smiled. "And you are heavier than you look."

"That's really nice of you to say so," I said sarcastically, a smile on my lips. 

"Well I tell it as it is." Travis fell silent, a strange look on his face. Finally he said. "Have you been having more memories?"

"Yes, they are more frequent and clearer, it's getting annoying."

"Tell me about it." He paused again. "When you fell, I had another memory. Where Emily died, and all I could think was 'what if that happens to Ally?' " He took my head. "And I didn't want that to happen. Ever." I squeezed his hand. 

After I was released from the hospital, the memories became less frequent, and soon stopped altogether. Probably because Travis and I were dating. Things returned to normal, except every now and again a soft tune pops into my head, and Travis always starts to sing the words that we both know so well.

The End 

A Blast From The Past (Part 4)

I searched the library shelves for books on reincarnation. I found some books, and then sat down at the computer. I looked on wikipedia for reincarnation, a new personality is developed during each life in the physical world, but some part of the self remains constant throughout the succesive lives. What if this was true? What if I was Emily reincarnated? That would explain the song, and the weird visions. What was she supposed to do? Why was she remembering this now? What was special about this time in her life? Travis. What if Travis was Charles reincarnated? Gwen could be Abigail. It all made sense. How Gwen and her became crazy close friends super fast and the chemistry she felt with Travis. 

When I got home i read the books I had gotten from the library about reincarnation. I soon became convinced that this theory might be right. I went to sleep thinking about this possibility. The possibility that I was once a woman named Emily. I had loved Charles, and I died of pnemonia. A shiver went up my spine at the thought of my death, or Emily's death. I refused to think about her/my death. I dreamed that I was split in two, one of me was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, my hair it's normal waviness. The second me was dressed in old-fashioned clothes, my hair curled and pulled back into a bun. The old-fashioned me was moaning. 

"Charles," I repeated over and over. "Why did you leave me? We shall never be together now." The modern me was just staring at the old-fashioned me, wondering what to do. 

I woke the next morning just as muddled as the night before. I needed to sort this out, but who would believe me? Even in my head I sounded loopy. At school I felt out of place, and awkward. Everyone was going about their buisness and I was practically having a metal breakdown. Gwen asked me what was wrong first period. I hesitated for a moment, debating whether or not to tell her, but then decided against it. I instead told her that I didn't get alot of sleep last night. 

It was during history that I got asked that same question, this time from Travis. He turned around once I had sat down.

"Are you ok?" he asked.  

"Ok," I hesitated again, debating whether or not to tell him about what I had learned.  This time I decided to tell him. He had had some of the same experiences as me. "I need to talk to you, soon." 

"Ok, after school," Travis said nodding. 

After school I was at my locker when Travis came up. He leaned against the locker next to mine. 

"What's up?" He asked. I looked at him. He had an expectant look on his face. How could I tell him what I was thinking?

"I don't know how to tell you this."

"What?"

"You're going to think I'm crazy," I muttered, more to myself than to him.

"Ally, just tell me," Travis said.

"I think I can explain all the things that have been happening to us."

"Really? What?"

"Reincarnation." Travis just stared at me. 

"Reincarnation? Ally are you kidding me?"

"No. It all makes sense. Think about it Travis." He looked as if he was pondering this, and after a moment slowly nodded. 

"You might be right, but what are we going to do about it?"